Fart to Safety 💨

Thank God It’s Fridayyyy! 💛

Let’s keep today’s edition light and breezy.

Enjoy!

In Today’s Edition

🌕Fart to Safety 💨
🌕Criminals! On chain!
🌕What’s Going On?

To today’s stories ===>>

Risk assets are catching their breath—but it’s not quite relief. 

Yesterday, the S&P plunged 3.5% in another sharp sell-off, dragging crypto with it. Bitcoin dipped 1% to $80.9K, ETH sank to $1.5K, and even Solana, which had held strong, closed at $116. 

Meanwhile, the 2x levered short ETH ETF is—brace yourself—the best-performing ETF in the U.S. this year. 

You can’t make this stuff up.

Yields are blowing out again, gold is hitting fresh all-time highs, and Trump reportedly wants to remove Jerome Powell. 

The macro landscape is a minefield. The U.S. is also mulling the delisting of Chinese ADRs, and Roaring Kitty might be staging a GME comeback. 

If this all sounds like market chaos… well, it is.

And yet, on-chain is thriving—in its own degenerate way. 

Meme coins are behaving like defensive assets. Fartcoin soared 18%, Buttcoin doubled to a $22M market cap, and Titcoin isn’t far behind. E

ven newer names like CryptoAI and BIGCOIN (+363%) are holding up well. 

In Altland, Curve (CRV) and Hype (HYPE) also showed rare resilience among top-100 alts.

Tron’s TRX jumped 10% in three days in broader token trends, aided by bullish momentum and a $1B USDT mint from Tether. 

And while U.S.–China tensions may have cooled, Asian crypto investors are still piling into tokenized gold. 

Tether’s XAUT is up 3.4% and remains one of the best performers across digital assets.

Safe haven status? Apparently, that’s now spelled F-A-R-T.

In what’s become an all-too-familiar playbook for crypto, an MEV bot named “Yoink” exploited a vulnerability in the Wayfinder airdrop claim process on Thursday—stealing approximately 119 ETH (~$200,000) from unsuspecting users on the Kaito platform. 

The incident underscores how sophisticated on-chain exploitation has become, particularly as AI-powered bots begin to mimic and outpace human coordination.

The Wayfinder airdrop was meant to reward “yappers”—users who completed social tasks on Kaito, a platform that transforms crypto social chatter into market insights—with a slice of the new $PROMPT token. 

But instead of celebrating free tokens, many users watched them vanish in real time. The Yoink bot intercepted claims before they could be executed, swapping the tokens for ETH and funneling the proceeds into its own wallet.

TokenTable, the team behind the airdrop, quickly paused the claim process and promised compensation, citing a smart contract that remained “secure and unaffected.” 

Still, the damage was done. 

The incident triggered a wave of warnings across Crypto Twitter, with users urging others not to claim until the exploit was patched.

As MEV exploits grow more aggressive—and smarter—the question looms: how do we build trustless systems in an environment increasingly defined by malicious automation? 

TokenTable has promised a post-mortem and full refunds. But for many in the community, it’s a reminder that in the race between innovation and exploitation, the bots are keeping pace.